OBSERVING COMMUNICATION!

I had the opportunity to observe an encounter with my neighbor next door. While washing my car in my driveway, I observed my neighbor’s son and the father who are Muslims. The little boy was yelling at his dad for unknown reasons at this time. I always play music when I am cleaning my car. The music was on, and I couldn’t hear why the little boy was yelling at his dad. However, I was almost done, so I turned my music off and locked up the car. To my surprise, the little boy was yelling at his dad because he did not want to get his homework done when the father wanted him to get it done. He wanted to play a little outside before he became focused. I said hello to the father, and I went into my house, still having a listening ear outside. Not realizing I had left my cell phone on the porch. I returned outside, and I saw the little boy still had not gone inside to complete his homework. I called him by the fence, and I said “Chase, if you get your homework done I think your dad would not mind you playing outside all day.” “He just needs you to get it done before your mom gets home, and you have to get lashes.” He is a sweet child, but kids are kids. With that conversation, he went inside. I wasn’t sure if he got any work done, but at least I spoke with him, and he went inside. That was a start for him being respectful and realizing that something had to give.

I think tones, body language, and approach have a lot to do with how children communicate with you. I notice this a lot with my son and siblings. If I speak to them aggressively, they shut down or get even angrier, but I lower my tone and try to get on their level. They are more receptive to what I am saying or have to say. Sometimes when you realize you are not going to get a message across. “Active listening and emotional competence are essential in communication because it enhances communication effectiveness” (Laureate Education Inc., 2011).There’s always someone else who might be much better at the job than you. It’s not that you want to be a pain in the butt to anyone, but you want them to be aware of rights and wrongdoings. When it came to Chase, the dad was saving him a butt whooping by telling him to get his homework done before the mother got home. He was so strong-minded that he wanted to get what he wanted to get done first, not realizing he was being saved from the consequences later on. This had shown that the father had done his part, and me having to step in I had also done my part. I think he did his part well when he decided to go inside after our little chat over the fence. I hope he got the homework completed. Kids will push your buttons at a time to see how much murder they will get away with publicly and in private. 

When it comes to supporting and parenting styles, my mother is always there to guide me since I was younger and had my son. Sometimes the way she deals with my son, I would say “how come you never let me slide like this, and you allow your grandson?” She would say “I  didn’t know better then, but I know better now.” I always found this hard to believe. I got most of the lashes growing up, and my siblings now are another get-away with murder situations. I would also say that I am grateful for the lashes because they made me into the strong individual I am today. Who knows, without the lashes I would not have been able to still stand this firm and strong as an African American female in today’s society. Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010) state, “relationships and interactions with children, the routines and curriculum all tie in to create an anti-bias learning community. Getting to this will take time and hard work, every step we take counts.” 

Reference 

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NationalSparks & Edwards, 2010.